I hesitated about the title of this article….
The Prelude…..
Is it possible? Do I dare? What do you think? What do others think? And then I thought, “Why not”?
I know you may have different associations right now. Exactly, that’s the intention. And I see that in the reactions of my clients too. When I eventually say, “you do know that the prelude makes everything easier?” I get some really nice responses.
“Gwen, come on, what are you talking about?”
I’m talking about our communication. I’m talking about achieving our goals through communication. I’m talking about reaching peaks through our communication.
For very goal-oriented people, paying attention to ‘the prelude’ in your communication is often a challenge. It’s a topic many entrepreneurs and business leaders struggle with. And yes, I struggled with this too in the past because I didn’t have the tools to be more effective. And I still make mistakes sometimes, too.
I often get asked: “I’m goal-oriented and solution-oriented, why isn’t my message getting across?”
Answer: “you’re forgetting the importance of the prelude”. The prelude in your communication.
It also has to do with “being right or getting it right”.
No matter how good your message, your content is, if there isn’t enough connection with your conversation partner, it simply won’t work. Unless you want to force-feed them something. Communication is about form, I also call it ‘the packaging’ or the ‘interface’. And everything starts with taking a moment, making contact, creating trust.
I hope you also see the importance of this, otherwise you might as well not continue reading.
Especially action-oriented, dominant, and/or process-oriented entrepreneurs and leaders often struggle with this.
How do you do it? That prelude in your communication?
- Step into the other person’s world.
Take a moment to consider the interests of the other person. If it’s one of your employees: do you know what his/her interests are? Do you know what’s going on in his/her life?
- Ask questions about interests, the weekend, a photo of the kids on the desk, the weekend, the special dinner, etc. And it doesn’t have to take up too much time either.
- Adjust your posture, especially at the beginning of a conversation.
If you’re willing to step into the other person’s world, you can also take a look at the other person’s posture: after all, 55% of our communication is determined by our physiology. So, if the other person is sitting? Sit down too, it immediately inspires more confidence. Does the other person move their arms little (and you do)? Make your movements calmer too.
- Adjust your intonation, your ‘tone of voice’. Do you speak very quickly and the other person slowly? Please: slow down. Intonation determines about 38% of our communication.
- Observe the other person in your communication.
If you observe your conversation partner closely during the conversation, you’ll see what’s happening and therefore be better able to respond to often small signals from the other person: moist eyes, a trembling lip, red spots on the neck. In the rush of this time, that’s often overlooked. And especially for leaders, this is such an important skill.
Finally: of course, maintain your goal orientation and your speed. And with the application of these small tips, you achieve a stunning result. Of course, it requires some patience from you. At first, it may seem strange and awkward, and for others maybe a bit contrived, insincere. Once you’ve mastered this and made it your own, then you make the difference. And that’s leadership, golden leadership. Good luck!
If you want to learn more about the power of communication, read my first book: “My Best Team Ever! In 7 Steps to Golden Leadership“
